Me "So we're both just chillin tonight. Would it still be an easy evening if i'd invited you over? Or was I right and you'd have said no it's a hassle cuz of transport?"
Him "I could pop over if you fancy. don't mind"
Me "Leaving it up to me, feel the power heh, yeah come on be sociable."
Him "Ok, I'll be half hour or so."
Me "That did not just happen. But if it did it would have been fucking good."
Him "Haha yeah probably. But just friends though, yeah?"
Me "Excuse me, do I look like I'm co-operating with my own bright ideas right now? No. I'm having stoned fantasies where you're pushing me against the wall."
Me "'That's all I've got' in fucking deed. Ha!"
Him "Behave woman! Thought you were happy not to fuck things up by something happening?"
Me "Hm."
Me "Hm. Possibly think we could reduce our friendship to using each other anyway. I'm feeling very demanding."
Him "Cold shower time for you girl!"
Me "You're not enjoying this for the right reason text whore. X."
Him "Behave! Read these tomorrow when you're sober!"
Me "Shit. No. Don't ever tell me about anyone about me like older-woman-who-came-on-to-him-at-work-party. And P.S"
Him "Don't worry I won't say anything. Said some open things in the past after a few myself! Night"
Me "I'm still pouting even though my persuasion has got me nowhere."
"Night."
Me "P.S no need to reference that i'm not sober. I'm super uninhibited and can admit to that myself 
it just doesn't stop me wanting my own way. But I am gonna stop now."
Me "It's great the way being stoned slows everything down. I went from a stage of thinking, hm, jealousy, to humiliation, hm, i still want to ask what you would have done if i'd pulled you towards me. But actually I had already been more than obvious."
Me "Ok I'm not going to feel better unless you come over to watch star wars tomorrow so that I can prove I can keep my hands to myself"
Me "Actually you could have done me the courtesy of being a sure thing after Thursday. Funny? Goodnight. Sorry"
Him "Haha sorry! Night"
Me "I meant to say forgiven? Rather than funny. But that worked too. Bye."
Him "Hi how's things this morning?"
Me "Ha. Just woken up. Slight headache. Utterly grateful to you. Obviously need to go on a few dates. I didn't think I was bothered but... Heh oh god. Mortifying. It'll be a brilliant anecdote but I think I'll give it time first."
Him "Haha yeah, thought you were going to tie me up to stop me leaving! i'm meant to be watching sw at diz's but i'll let you know if that's off"
Him "This film has the worst screen romance in the history of cinema. But the start and end are good"
me "Just this second got in from local-nature-reserve-where-'d-gone-for-a-walk-with-my-sister-neice-and-sisters-husband and turned it on. The chancellor is creepy."
him "Do you not know who the chancellor is?"
me "Yes I do."
him "That's why he's creepy. Baddie. Boo!"
me "Nice move Obi Wan"
him "Cant you just feel the chemistry there."
me "Hayden Christianson can't act for toffee. In jumpers he was completely outshone by Jamie Bell. anyway, give me ewan mcgreggor anyday over pretty boy."
me "Ooh Nice house. Ooh Nice retreat."
him "Sure is. Bloody news"
me "Amen"
